Monday, August 30, 2010

#20 Summer Break

Welcome back. For some ridiculous reason you have chosen to return to BYU campus and resume your zoobie training. No doubt today you were overwhelmed by the concentration of Mormon 18-25 year olds. You probably were also overwhelmed with all sorts of "what I did this summer" stories. BYU kids love summer vacation. They love the four months between Winter and Fall semester because it gives them something to talk to you about. Perhaps you came across a world traveler:

“Oh hey! How was your summer—mine was fantastic! I went on a humanitarian tour through India and rural China and I wrote all about it on my blog. The URL is posted on Facebook along with 7 fantastic photo albums. I took some amazing shots of the depravity and social injustice of their outdated and inhumane caste system. I also backpacked through Western Europe on my way back to the States. I met ALL sorts of interesting people in authentic hostels AND I ate crepes in France! Talk to you later!”

Or maybe you sat next to the guy with an internship:

“Hey, I'm Alec. This summer I had a studio apartment in New York and interned at a film cooperative. I worked on a really revealing independent film that explores how the standard American college experience is ruining creativity and free thinking in our generation. I’m having a party and showing it this weekend. You should come over—there’s a $2 fee at the door though. You know, to cover production costs.”

Possibly you encountered one of The Marrieds:

“Amber Jensen! How are you?”
“Actually, it is Amber Jorgensen now.”
“Oh...I didn’t know you were married...or that you were engaged...or that you were even dating anyone.”
“Well I wasn’t—I was helplessly single until June and then John came into my life and swept me away into a whirlwind of hormones and romance. It was perfect.”
“Oh. Wow. Um...congrats.”
“Thank you!!! Marriage is really the best! We do everything together and we have so much fun exploring the beauties of intima-...“

Hopefully you walked away before that conversation went any further.

But undoubtedly you spoke with the recently returned Elder:

“Hi! Can I sit here? What is your name? I’m Ben. I’m really excited to be taking O-Chem this semester. I crammed in classes Summer Term so I could take it this Fall. I just got back in July from my mission in Taiwan. I’ve definitely had to adjust, especially to the language, but I love all my classes. The mission has made me such a good student. Do you have plans for lunch after this?"

Whatever summer story you endured today, we hope you survived. Pretty soon (but not soon enough) BYU kids will stop talking about what they did this summer...and start doing something else that is equally frustrating and confusing. We, of course, will be there to guide you through these difficulties and challenges as they come.

Welcome back! We are looking forward to a great year!

6 comments:

Jeff Rosenbaugh said...

You actually made me miss BYU just a little... BTW, I was never one of those people, and I may or may not have felt like I missed out.

Then I got a real job and looked back on everyone still in school, hopelessly changing majors in hopes they can find a semblance of direction in life.

I win. ;-)

Alex said...

Letsee, I spent this summer doing some grueling military training up in Washington...and then when I graduated, I flew back home to live with mom and dad in Kansas City until the Army finds a spot for me. Within two days, my mom threw away my white shirts saying they weren't white enough, and that girls wouldn't go for a guy who dressed shabbily to church. Now she won't even let me do my own laundry. When I object to this, or any of her overbearing eccentricities, I get a "THIS IS WHY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED!!!" Gee, thanks mom :-)

Jordan said...

Great article, Jenny. I think what is best about this article is that you have done each of these yourself (except #4, because you chose #3).

It was YOU that did the Europe tour (complete with blog AND at least 7 photo albums). The only difference was you didn't take pictures of depravity and social justice....just decadence and synagogues (and churches, castles...).

Oh, and did you do an internship? Yep! Not in New York, though, because you found a better internship elsewhere.

And of course...you're also getting married before school is in too far. So #3 is covered.

So, really you are just poking fun at yourself in a 3-paragraph essay and thinly disguising it by shrewdly changing the names. Nice. :)

I still like the article.

Ayotli Wahaya said...

And then when the student reluctantly engaged in conversation focused around the wonderfully portrayed humanity tour says, "Um...I watched Inception this summer...," the self-described humanitarian just stares blankly.

AjaxTheGreek said...

Now, as we approach the end of the school year, what are they all saying? How much they grew to love the abstractions of philosophy or poli sci, or anthropology? How they are so glad they do not feel bound down the the limitations imposed by those traditional, neanderthal subjects like physics, chemistry, or engineering? How that [mindless marxist] professor you couldn't stand is just their favorite because he taught them to think? How they really just want to use their education to help humanity [because they have no job prospects and no grades]? . . . .

the.kim.peterson said...

Got married leaving no time to blog? BYU kids will never change.