Wednesday, September 16, 2009

#9 Not Eating Sushi

Upper-middle class college kids love sushi. It sets them apart as young adults with refined taste and maturity. When you come to BYU, just beware, when you go out to eat sushi with BYU students, there are a few things that may be different than your other sushi experiences.

As a preface: BYU students are cheap. Really cheap. You could claim that it is because 10% of their paycheck goes to a better place every month, but considering that BYU tuition is 10% of other universities, it seems like it would even out. Maybe BYU students are just too sober to spend money arbitrarily, or maybe they are just focused on saving up for a trip abroad. Point is, they are cheap, just ask any waiter or waitress that works in Happy Valley.

This being the case, when you go out for sushi, half the group will not order anything. Spending $10 on some rice and raw salmon cannot be justified by these frugal twenty-somethings. They instead will sit staring at everyone else ingest rolls and try to keep reminding themselves they are making responsible financial decisions. Meanwhile the waiter is quite disturbed that of 20 people at the table, 7 have placed an order(water and one roll each).

There will be approximately 23 pictures taken of the group “eating” sushi. These photos will all be uploaded and tagged on facebook the next day as evidence of the student’s high class, cultural expedition.

Several of the kids that claim to LOOOOVE sushi will suddenly lose their appetites when the group arrives at the restaurant, but they want to be tagged in the pictures of them holding the sushi.

Do not expect anyone to opt for the ‘all-you-can-eat’ menu choice. The only place BYU kids justify that sort of expense is at the Cannon Center when Mom & Dad sponsor a meal plan.

There will inevitably be a stop at Wendy’s and/or Taco Bell on the way home from eating sushi. This is because the frugal kids are starving after watching everyone eat for thirty minutes, and the kids that were too terrified to eat more than one bite of the Unagi need a chaser.

Enjoy your California roll and wasabi, and please, do what you can to make sure that waiter gets a decent tip (or at lease A tip).


Alexandra said...

you two are really hilarious. thank you for tackling the "cheapness"- such a sensitive topic and yet all anyone wants to do here is talk about how expensive things are. including sushi. (I don't eat sushi in landlocked states- call me elitist but happy sumo gave me food poisoning)
keep up the funny work!

Sean said...

I proudly went to all-you-can-eat sushi for lunch today and had a whole bunch of rolls at Asuka and I left a good tip too!

Laura Tait said...

Wow, I just discovered this blog, and I LOVE IT! I just read all the posts. So hilarious. It is true, BYU kids hate to spend any money on good food!!

Anonymous said...

This blog is hilarious. Keep it up!

Jack said...

Alexandra has it right. Be careful of seafood in any place too far from the sea, landlocked or not. I suspect it is not so much a question of freshness as it is one of appreciating how to store it, handle it, and cook it (or not). 'Worst meal of my life was lobster that literally gagged me so badly that only extreme effort kept me from upchucking on the spot when I took the first disgusting taste of that soggy-cotton bite. Sorry to sidetrack your hilarious pan on how a student budget can dampen the sushi experience.

Anonymous said...

LOVE IT! Please write more in your blog? tnx