Saturday, September 13, 2008

#4 The Pie

If you attend BYU, there is one thing you must do at least once during your time there. Drive all the way up to your rival’s campus, and eat at their most popular pizza place. Seriously, write your name on the wall at The Pie, and your college education is complete.

It is a mystery why a basement crawling with Utes is such a popular destination. Is there really not a place to get a decent pizza in the 40 miles of habitation between Provo and Salt Lake? While there is no known definite reason BYU people must make this journey, one can always hypothesize. The following is a list of possibilities, so you can make your own informed decision.

1-They have pitchers at The Pie. This is the most obvious reason a BYU person would want to go to the Pie. Oh, don’t worry, no group of BYU people would order one, but the table next to them might. For those BYU people, it’s the closest encounter they have to alcohol, and they consider it a rush. Driving 40 miles is worth it, just for an experience on the edge. A BYU kid is really sweet if he goes to The Pie with his Ute friends, and one of them orders a pitcher. He gets to look like a typical college student, without breaking the honor code. He’ll secretly hope that someone is taking pictures (not pitchers), so he’ll be tagged in the same photos as the beer. He also gets to enjoy his whole 8” square of pizza as he stares at the liquid gold. Its presence has brought him instant status.

2-The Pie is a hole in the wall. So many BYU kids have to live in grungy establishments, why not eat in one? (The grungy establishments are because of the 2 mile radius rule—ridiculous). When you go to the Pie, make sure to check out the restrooms, but do so AFTER you have eaten.

3-The pizza at The Pie is good. So is their version of Pizzookie, and the cheesy bread. Really, it’s tasty.

4- The Pie is in ‘the city.’ It’s a different culture, there is a lower concentration of LDS kids, cigarette smoke lingers in the air if you are in the right places, BYU kids can go 80’s dancing before or after they eat, or after a concert of a band their roommates told them was cool so they went, even though they’ve never heard of the band, their parents never let them go to a concerts when they lived at home, so they had to seize the opportunity. Like stated before, it’s living on the edge.

5-They have pitchers.

Of course, to really make an informed decision you need to go there yourself. Don’t mention you go to BYU, and like I said before, visit the restroom, there are some great messages in there. It is just West of U of U campus on 200 South.


dallin said...

2 mile radius is lame! FILTHY SLUM LORDS!! ive never been to the pie, i have been to a pizza restaurant with pitchers though...ironically enough its owned by a mormon...its in washington.

Stacey & LaNae said...

Mmm Time Out... for pizza... and more.

Kellee Marie Cook said...

pizza at the pie = so good, so greasy. I don't think any pizza restaurants around here get you as greasy as it does up there. which is probably why i love it.

R Schiffman (Brownbag) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
R Schiffman (Brownbag) said...

Many years ago, when Brick Oven was still referred to as "Heaps", because the original name was "Heaps of Pizza",here was a Pie Pizza by BYU. It was the same atmosphere and greasy pizza with tons of cheese. It just didn't have the pitchers of beer. I assume that after it closed some older adventurous students went to visit the Pie in SLC with the newbies to show off what they missed.

Jessica Wilson said...

THE PIE IS THE BEST PIZZA IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!