Friday, August 22, 2008

#2 Early Morning Seminary

When going to BYU it is important you know the difference between Release Time Seminary and Early Morning Seminary. Almost 95% of BYU kids had to attend one of the two in order to get into BYU and carry on the family tradition.

Release Time Seminary is a class period in a high school student’s day. Usually it is stuck between Calculus and lunch, or it’s a student’s first/last period in the day. Either way, it allows the student to fully take advantage of the extra minutes given to walk to and from the seminary building.

Early Morning Seminary is something else. The high school student has to set an alarm for 4:30 AM so he can push snooze 6 times before dragging his Mormon behind to a freezing cold church. When he finally arrives he gets to fight the urge to use his scriptures as a pillow as the teacher (probably a parent of one of the kids in the class) struggles to teach Scripture Mastery to zombies.

When you hang out with a group of BYU people long enough, you will find out which students attended Early Morning. They will make it clear to you how blessed they were to have ‘the opportunity’ to struggle to stay awake every day for four long years. Undoubtedly you will hear horror stories of scraping a car at 5:20 am, falling asleep at the wheel, and sleeping through math tests.

If you want to gain points with this crowd tell them how you only had Release Time at your high school, but you are in awe of their example and steadfastness. Saying this will prompt them to tell you more of the hardships they went through—for which they will love you. If you want to lose points quickly, inform this crowd your school had both Release Time and Early Morning, but you chose to go to Release Time. In their eyes you have now become one of the BYU kids that has not earned a ticket to BYU, and one that will likely become inactive as soon as you no longer need ecclesiastical endorsements.

WARNING: if you start discussing Seminary, be prepared to listen to fond memories of being on ‘the council.’


Helen said...

This is HILARIOUS!!! Please post more, I love your blog!!

Early morning kids rule.

Anonymous said...

i went to both. WHAT NOW?!

Anonymous said...

What if you had before school, during school, after school AND after church??? lol Take THAT!! hahahahha